The life of a Taurus can include plenty of push and pull, and as Dacus describes in "My Mother and I" and to me over the phone, a relationship between two Tauruses only amplifies some of those qualities. “I think that our relationship at its best is a friendship," she says of her relationship with her Taurean adopted mother. "I've never really been good at understanding the obligation that family carries.
She addresses this on the phone, saying, “This is the first song that I've put out where clearly there's a specific person that it's about. ” However, the subject is still slightly more complicated than the average listener might be aware of. “I'm adopted," she continues, "so I have two mothers — a biological mother and the mother who raised me. ” (Note that her adopted mother is the Taurus, but the mother concept she sings about in the song is an amalgamation of both.
The original reason for our call is to chat about a song Dacus just released in honor of Mother's Day and Taurus season (the season in which we both happen to have been born), titled “My Mother and I,” which addresses how a person’s relationship with their mother can affect their body image.
With years come wisdom and experience, but in the eyes of society, over time we also lose some of our perceived worth. “In youth, so much hinges on your beauty," Dacus says. "Our culture tells us being young and being fit are what will help you to succeed. ” I catch myself nodding fervently. “That's a major factor of your love life, as well, and love shouldn't have anything to do with appearance.
This is how we got on the topic of unconditional love — when I tell Dacus I don’t believe in it, and she says that, actually, she thinks it may be a positive way to look at relationships. “I think [unconditional love] is actually an optimistic outlook," she explains, "knowing that at a point someone was fulfilling you and then to have the space to say that's not the case anymore.
I ask if either of her moms has heard the song yet, and she says that the mother who raised her has, though they haven’t talked much about it yet. “I hope that they can both come to love the song even though it's not easy material,” Dacus says.
Regardless of the specific dynamics in her personal life, the song, which weaves in her experiences as an adoptee and growing up knowing her birth mother, is relatable to nearly anyone with a relationship to a primary caregiver and a body. “My Mother and I” made me cry upon my first listen (OK, and on my second listen).
As the conversation turns back to the lyrics of the song, Dacus explains, “The first line is about this confusing element of body image and negative associations to the body, and then at the end, the last line is me realizing I have no idea what each of them went through to raise me and give me a good life.
I think that it's worth exploring for anybody that has the same issue. ” Whether it’s something that’s been on your mind for your whole life or you’re just starting to think about this topic, listen to Dacus’s song “My Mother and I” for a nice, cathartic cry.
Plus, how she got me to rethink my stance on unconditional love. https://t.co/1lDTBX7Xgc— Allure (@Allure_magazine) May 25, 2019
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